I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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