I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Rumble strips road head = magical
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
