i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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