I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
