she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
