So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
