so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Let's get the cat blown out
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize