This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
