there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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