dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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