He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
When did we convert life to cartoon?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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