dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
