Say something about gay babies.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
