Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
