we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
