Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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