It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
