my sisters under your porch take her home
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
