Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
