everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
