i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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