Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
