All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
