Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'd cum for enchiladas.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
