btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
