It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
