Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
