She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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