sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize