she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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