sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
