Sry I called you an 8
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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