he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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