My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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