Only a mothe r could love this liver
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
