Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
