i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
