Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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