Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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