nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize