Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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