she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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