Plan B is the new Plan A
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
This house was built for laser tag.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
