I am puke
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Shame is for Republicans.
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