i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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