New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
