I think scott just propositioned me for sex
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
