it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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