dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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