when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize