Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize