What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
