Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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