I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
