I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
