ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize