Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
