my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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