Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
