I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He has the fingertips of a God
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
