What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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