Please, let me fuck your mom
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
