Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
