quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
