I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
