your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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