just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i need some magic done to my vagina
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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