I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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