There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
