Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Randomize
