people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
